I found out how to stop flash from putting an EXTREME lowpass on sound files!

1: Right click the sound from the library

2: Click Properties

3: click advanced

4: set compression to raw

Setting compression to mp3 or default is the problem, the text under the sampling rate will even read "1.1% of original", which means it will sound like shit

5: set sampling rate to 44

the default is, for some reason, set to 22khz, which is muffled

6: uncheck the "convert to mono" box (optional, keeping it checked will limit it to 50%, but it will still sound decent)

The text under the sampling rate should now say "100% of original"

7: Use sound under 'Start', not 'event' or 'stream,' these put a low-pass on it

And boom, the sound is Clear as Judge Perry's 40 minute reading of the Jury's Instructions